.Publisher's Keep in mind: The observing is actually the text message of a letter from Expedition 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), assessing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created quite concerning specifics of this particular mission throughout the month I've been actually below, generally for two causes: the first being that there has been quite little time to accomplish that sort of writing, as well as the second thing is since I'm not sure how relaxed I am discussing thoughts I share with friends and family with the rest of the world.Properly, clearly the world changed today. What I mention or carry out is extremely minor reviewed to the importance of what occurred to our nation today when it was actually assaulted by ... through whom? Terrorists is actually all we understand, I reckon. Difficult to know at whom to direct our anger and also concern ...I had actually merely finished a number of activities today, the absolute most time-consuming being the physical exams of all crew participants. In a personal talk adhering to that, the flight cosmetic surgeon told me they were actually having a quite poor day on the ground. I had no concept ...He explained the situation to me as ideal he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually shocked, then terrified. My initial idea was actually that this had not been a real chat, that I was actually still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It just didn't appear achievable on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't also envision the details, even prior to the news of more devastation began coming in.Vladimir came over fairly quickly, sensing that something really severe was actually being explained. I swayed Michael in to the component at the same time. They were likewise amazed and stunned. After our experts authorized off, I tried to describe to Vladimir and Michael as ideal I could possibly the possible magnitude of this show of horror in downtown New york as well as at the Pentagon. They plainly recognized and also were actually quite considerate.I eyed the Planet Chart on the pc to find where over the globe our company were actually and also saw that our company were actually happening southeast out of Canada as well as would certainly be passing over New England in a handful of moments. I zipped around the station up until I found a window that will offer me a scenery of NYC as well as ordered the nearest camera. It took place to become a video camera, and I was looking south coming from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to possess a strange blossom to it at the foundation of the column that was actually streaming south of the city. After checking out among the news articles we only got, I believe our experts were examining NY around the moment of, or shortly after, the collapse of the second high rise. How unpleasant ...I panned the electronic camera the whole time the East Shore to the south to find if I could find some other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, but nothing at all showed up.It was actually quite complicated to think of work after that, though our experts possessed some to accomplish, yet on the following orbit our experts crossed the United States further south. All three of us were working one or two electronic cameras to attempt to obtain perspectives of The big apple or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, however no particular source can be observed. Everything looked unbelievable coming from two to three hundred miles away. I can not picture the heartbreaking settings on the ground.Apart from the emotional effect of our country being dealt with and hundreds of our citizens as well as maybe some buddies being gotten rid of, one of the most frustrating sensation being actually where I am is one of solitude.Following time ... I presume the exhaustion and also psychological tension received the most ideal of me. I couldn't remain awake and also continue to write. Today was still complicated, however we started receiving even more information, plus our company had the honor of speaking directly with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, that ensured us that the ground staffs would continue to operate and ensure our safety and security, and also the risk-free operation of the Place. Our team also talked to our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that added that the companions in the Course are actually all totally committed to continuing risk-free operations as well as help. These were actually never ever inquiries for me. I understand all these individuals! The ground groups have been very encouraging, quite understanding of the impact of the information, and have actually made an effort to become as beneficial as possible. They have actually all been incredibly professional as well as centered though I can't envision the disturbance of this particular sort of headlines being available in as well as the thought that federal government buildings may be in danger. They never missed a beat, even when relocating control centers. And also a group of senior employees and friends offered us a pretty extensive rundown on what was actually known and what was being performed in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually incredibly valuable and also kind of them to do in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has additionally been actually encouraging and also helpful, attempting to uplink news articles when our own possessions were inoperable, and pointing out kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been actually excellent, too. They understand it is actually been a challenging day for me as well as the individuals on the ground, and also they have actually attempted to become as even keeled as well as practical as feasible. Michael also repaired me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. And also they provide me a lot of area to presume when I required it. They are actually quite supportive and also obviously outraged at whoever would certainly do this.I recognize a lot of individuals in Washington, plenty of individuals who take a trip to DC and also NYC, numerous who are aviators, that I really felt sure I would certainly obtain at the very least a few items of problem over the next handful of times. I received the 1st one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that attacked the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic during plebe summer season when our experts remained in the D&B with each other, and also our experts had tons of classes with each other. I can not imagine what he must of experienced, and also now I hear that he may possess increased even more than our experts may even consider through perhaps preventing his airplane from being actually the one to deal with the White House. What a horrendous reduction, yet I'm sure Chic was battling fearlessly throughout. And also splits don't flow the very same in space ...It's tough to explain exactly how it feels to be the only American totally off the world each time including this. The sensation that I need to exist along with each of you, managing this, helping somehow, is actually mind-boggling. I recognize that our company perform the limit (or even past) of a dreadful shift in the past of the globe. Many factors will never be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Not only for the thousands as well as thousands of folks directly affected through these hideous actions of terrorism, however most likely for everybody. We are going to locate ourselves really feeling differently regarding lots of traits, consisting of probably area expedition, sadly.It is actually awful to view smoke putting coming from injuries in your own nation coming from such a superb perspective. The dichotomy of performing a spacecraft dedicated to improving everyday life on the earth and also seeing life being actually damaged through such conscious, dreadful process is jolting to the subconscious, despite who you are. As well as the expertise that every little thing will definitely be actually various than when we released due to the opportunity we land is a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country and in our management that we will certainly carry out whatever feasible to far better defend her as well as our households, and to take fair treatment wherefore has actually been done. I possess assurance that the really good people at NASA will do every little thing essential to proceed our purpose securely as well as return us properly at the right time. As well as I miss out on all of you quite. I can't exist along with you face to face, as well as we possess a very long way to head to complete our purpose, however be actually specific that my soul is with you, and also recognize you are in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the last letter ... Thankfully, it's been a hectic full week up right here. And also to show that, like our country, our company are actually continuing on our planned course along with organization as usual (as much as feasible). Tonight the current addition to the station, the Russian Docking Area will be introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (United States time), it is going to dock along with us, at a slot never ever utilized before on the nadir edge of the Solution Element. This brand-new component will definitely offer our team one more spot to dock an Improvement or Soyuz and also will offer a sizable airlock along with 2 able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our company will do a few of before we return.The problem prior to in handling recently was inadequate updates. The trouble today is actually excessive. It arrived all at once when email was actually recovered, as well as there is actually not enough time to read it all! Plus it is actually as well tough to manage all of it at once. But I value getting it, as well as I definitely appreciate the terrific characters of help and also friendly relationship I am actually receiving.Our company are doing well aboard, getting our work done, as well as discussing things. Final night our experts possessed a long conversation over dinner regarding the value of these events, the possible actions to observe, and what should be carried out. After dinner, Michael challenged informing me that every email he got coming from good friends in Russia said exclusively to inform me just how sorry they were that this happened, prolonging their acknowledgements, and inquiring just how I was actually doing. Vladimir taught me the Russian term for "condolences" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Urban area. (Both the Russian as well as the English words are considerably extremely lengthy to pronounce conveniently.) Quite kind individuals.For the final 2 times, the Russian MCC has been good enough to transfer real-time broadcasts of radio headlines regarding the activity as well as linked stories, to make sure I was well notified. Every expert that has come on free throw line to cover a procedure or even an issue has at some factor prolonged introductions to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that as a result of the wedding of remembrance in the US, all day folks had been taking blossoms as well as edging all the wall structures of the US consulate in Moscow, and this night they were actually lighting candles in the street outside the consular office. How the planet has altered.Folks anywhere seem to be to identify the senselessness and terror in this particular strike. And also the remarkable loss. Moscow has coped with these sort of problems in the last handful of years with house and also subway bombings, so they are actually as anxious to eliminate this risk as our experts are actually. Yet the bottom collection is that there are excellent individuals all over who would like to stay in tranquility. I read through that a youngster inquired, "America is therefore great to other nations, our team consistently assist everybody, exactly how can they loathe us a lot?".I really hope the example of teamwork and also leave that this space probe plus all people in the plan show daily will someday motivate the remainder of the planet to work similarly. They must!However, we will not be taking flight over the US while people are actually lighting candles. Don't understand if our experts might see that anyhow. Our team performed, however, see a really uncommon as well as beautiful sight a handful of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. We were actually overtaking it as well as it appeared regarding three minutes after its own launch from Baikonur as the sunlight struck our terminal, so it was still in the dark. It seemed like a sizable comet with a directly, large rear silhouetted against the dark earth below. Despite some bad lighting fixtures for some time as the sunshine hit our home window at a low position, I dealt with some video clip of it as to begin with our company passed the rocket, and after that viewed it start to catch up as it got altitude as well as speed. I recorded until principal engine cutoff and also enhancer splitting up happened just as we moved toward sunrise on the Mountain ranges. An unforgettable sight in a remarkable full week ...Lifestyle happens, even in space. Our team are actually listed here to stay ... Frank.